Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
