Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
