i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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