boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
whose ass print is on the piano?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
