i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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