i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
