i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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