I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
