just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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