Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
