i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you will always have a special place in my vag
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
