does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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