U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
