the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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