she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
