covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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