Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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