id be glad to
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
