yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
