you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
