The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Your dad touched me again.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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