I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You are a genius and a whore.
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