Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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