Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
