Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
