I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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