So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
