just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
