apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You ruined the universe
Randomize
