Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
