pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
