I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
