Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
