Sry I called you an 8
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
