I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
