and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
