so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
