This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
