one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize