Pappa wants mamma naked
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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