Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
