dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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