Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
