So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
