Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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