I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
