it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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