the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize