WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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