I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
