Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
