she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Did you just see the Batmobile???
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
