who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize