So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
