Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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