zippers are such a cool invention
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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