Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
third nipple confirmed
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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