he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
