I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
