I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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