i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How external is "for external use only"?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
